This past weekend, we all witnessed something truly unique and despicable: An accused person providing evidence of his predatory role in a rape accusation, under the guise of exoneration. Apart from this, what was really heart-wrenching, was that a significant amount of people bought into the conceit behind his story, and sadly reaffirmed the staunchly ridiculous ideals that prevail in our society when it comes to sexual abuse issues.
Usually, when victims of sexual assault name and shame their abusers in disturbing detail, the alleged perpetrators take cover under the pretext of “innocent until proven guilty”, either waiting out the outrage until everything is swept under the rug or responding with (empty) threats of legal actions. This is all while counting on the support of a society who condones their alleged behaviour, over the wellbeing of the people they have caused great harm to. In the case of Tife Fabunmi – a young Nigerian corper and talent manager (according to his twitter bio) who was accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend – he relied on that same support while pushing the ledger for the audacious lengths accused people can go to in order to clear their name.
In a Twitter thread narrating the events and aftermath of the sexual encounter, the bombshell is a series of chat screenshots where he admits to noticing the pain on his ex-partner’s face and hearing her cries for him to stop, however, he still kept going because she didn’t physically push him off. Like clockwork, there was—and there still is—an overwhelming amount of support in favour of the abuser. As disappointing, disorienting and disheartening as it is, this reaction isn’t unexpected, it’s what you get with a mix of purity culture, misunderstanding of basic sexual consent, and the general lack of care for women in society.
Due to the deeply patriarchal nature of our society, sexual abuse and harassment, which should be black-and-white issues, are often treated with a heightened level of obnoxiousness and scepticism towards victims, simply because the perpetrators are more often than not, men. In a society which demands that men dominate the order of the day, coupled with the widespread idea that sex is an activity a woman participates in and a man takes pleasure from, it’s not that hard to see the foundation of rape culture in Nigeria—and generally, Africa.
Built on that foundation, is the disgusting dynamic between entitlement and shame, where one gender can be flagrant about what they do in pursuit of and also during and after sex, while the other gender is expected to be sexually timid and submissive or face derogation. It’s important to be aware of this relationship because it plays a key role in male support and female shaming whenever there are any sex-related allegations. In the aforementioned case, it’s absolutely shameful in 2020, and also telling that the lady has been ridiculed for travelling between states and engaging in ‘pre-marital’ sex, amongst other things.
It’s also worth noting that unlike other popular figures who have recently been accused of sexual assault, the guy in question is being supported simply because our society only values the truth when it’s interpreted through the archetypal male lens, at the expense of those who have been offended. To cap off this unevenness, a lot of men are – or pretend to be – oblivious of this advantage, and refuse to add any positive value in the quest to overturn the culture of enabling and victim shaming.
Uwa's story breaks me. We all have to admit that our parents have failed woefully in the raising of the male child. Concentrating too much on the conduct of the female child when it's actually the males who have the higher propensity to do evil! #JusticeForUwa
A notable instance of this ignorance is the now popular saying, “not all men”, a needless and aggravating rhetoric which tries to absolve guilt, but only ends up distracting from the conversations around forward motion for gender-based violence. It is quite odd that in a society where women are often looked at as representatives of their gender rather than individual people, men often baulk at being defined by the atrocious crimes perpetrated by their fellow men.
As much as many men don’t want to be saddled with the casual cruelty that’s associated with our gender, what’s far more pertinent, is that men NEED to be better invested in changing a culture which enables their role in sexual assault and harassment without consequences. This is in a bid not just to change perception, but most importantly because it’s a human rights issue we should all be deeply concerned about.
If the first step is becoming aware of our privilege, the next is to unlearn and relearn. Due to the way we were raised and what we were (not) taught, many of us have imbibed ideals about sex and communicating with women in a way that’s harmful and degrading to ONLY women. A dedication to swapping mindsets for the better is important to realise that something as seemingly trivial as catcalling is fundamentally wrong, and sexual consent is far simpler than it is complex.
Need a refresher on consent?
Consent can be withdrawn. Unconscious people can’t consent. Minors cannot consent to adults
Beyond its personal effects, unlearning and relearning trickles down into how we interact with friends and those around us when related conversations come up. While broader social media platforms make it difficult to put these ideals into proper context, discussions in more intimate spaces affords an avenue to educate friends and change any harmful stances they might harbour. In knowing better and helping those around us to know better, it creates a ripple effect which increases awareness and ensures that men are more intelligible and empathetic when it comes to cases of sexual violence.
In recent years, the current generation of young Nigerian women have shown that they will not be tolerating sexual assault and harassment. They have been protesting, assisting victims and finding ways to tackle these issues in a country where the law seems geared toward protecting offenders. Nigerian men need to become a bigger part of this fight, and not be the centre of it. Unravelling the societal constructs which enable our gender to do horrid and downright unspeakable things to women will only go faster with the addition of our efforts.
No woman deserves to be assaulted, harassed and widely shamed when they share their difficult stories. Getting that into our minds and the minds of others around us is when we’re creating a better place where men aren’t synonymous with danger. Until then, we should accept that change is a communal onus which belongs each and every one of us, and the work does not stop until these acts stop being a part of our societal fabric. It’s not enough to not be a perpetrator, we must also fight alongside women in order to create a safe world for them to just exist the way we do.
[Rest in peace, Uwa Omozuwa.]
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Rigo Kamp’s Marathon video is an intimate Afro-juju revival that pays homage to Sir Shina Peters and stamps...
Last Friday, Rigo Kamp, a NATIVE uNder alum and one of the architects of an equal parts nostalgic and...
Last Friday, Rigo Kamp, a NATIVE uNder alum and one of the architects of an equal parts nostalgic and refreshing sound released his self-titled debut EP, delivering a propulsive fusion of Alte, R&B, Funk, and Soul-infused rhythms.
Featuring previously released singles “Morning Sun”and “Summer”, the six-track eponymous EP executively produced by Odunsi The Engine sees Rigo lean heavily into his element as a sonic alchemist, jumping from silky falsettos to gritty grooves without losing an ounce of cohesion, and ultimately stamping the Abuja-born, Lagos-based singer-songwriter as a mad scientist of sound.
Just last November, Apple Music named Rigo Kamp as its Up Next artist, an acknowledgment that underscored his potential and confirmed what the tastemakers and underground scene already knew. Weeks later, he delivered an exhilarating live set for Spotify Fresh Finds in Lagos, proving he’s just as compelling live as he is in the studio.
On “Marathon”,the refreshing opener to the Rigo Kamp EP, Rigo borrows the bounce and swagger of Afro-Juju legend, Sir Shina Peters’ golden-era, fusing nostalgia with re-imagination to birth a vintage performance that feels like a private party for two, where it’s just Rigo, and you.
Get an exclusive first look at the video for Marathon here:
Togo YEYE is a community we are building for us by
Togo YEYE, a creative duo formed by Lomé-based creative director Malaika Nabillatou and London-based...
Togo YEYE, a creative duo formed by Lomé-based creative director Malaika Nabillatou and London-based photographer Delali Ayivi, is a conceptual publication that was created to empower and champion Togo’s young fashion creatives. Since its inception in 2021, Togo YEYE has released several personal projects and has also partnered with a number of brands to further its hugely imaginative aesthetic mandate. For their latest collaboration, Togo YEYE teamed up with textile printing company VLISCO to present Blossoming Beauty. Tagged as a love letter to Togo’s creative community, the campaign captures Lomé’s scenic beauty alongside VLISCO’s vibrant prints with the aim of connecting the feminine grace of nature with identity and artistry.
What does Togo YEYE mean?
Malaika Nabilatou: My name is Malaika Nabilatou, I’m the creative director of Togo YEYE. I’m Togolese and I was born and grew up in Lomé. I see myself as a West African creative director and I’m working to be the best in a few years. Togo YEYE means new Togo in Ewe, one of the most popular languages spoken in the South of Togo.
What inspired you to create Togo YEYE?
Malaika Nabilatou: We started this project, my friend Delali and I, 5 years ago. We just wanted to show that Togolese youth are also creative. Togo YEYE is a community we are building for us by us. It wasn’t just a project for Delali and I. It’s become something for the creative scene of Lomé. Lomé is like our studio.
What role does Togolese culture play in your creative process?
Maryline Bolognima: For me, Togolese culture comes first. For example, in the South, there are the people of Anero. If you come, you can go to Anero. In the North, there are the Evals, so if you come to Togo, you’ll learn a lot.
What’s the most exciting part of working as a team on projects like this?
Malaika Nabilatou: I need to tell the truth, we dreamt about this campaign before [it happened]. When VLISCO contacted us, we were like wow. I can’t really explain how thankful we are to VLISCO for trusting us. Because it’s a risk that they took by trusting us, making that campaign here with our team and honestly we are going to keep it in our hearts for the rest of our lives.
Claudia Sodogbe: For me, it is the first big contract of my life that I had with Togo YEYE. I still remember, on the last day of the shoot, I was feeling nostalgic about separating from the teams and the others. It went well in any case, and I’m very grateful to have been on this project.
What has been your proudest moment as part of Togo YEYE?
Malaika Nabilatou: I think the proudest moment I had with this campaign was when I saw the result first on the website. When I saw the story, I was like “wow, we finally made it.”
No matter who you, these parties provide a safe space to let loose without fear of objectification or...
The crowd marches along on the dancefloor, vibrating to a pulse that is both familiar and electrifying. It...
The crowd marches along on the dancefloor, vibrating to a pulse that is both familiar and electrifying. It takes a second to identify Grammy nominee, Rema’s “Ozeba,” pouring out of the speakers and whipping the crowd into a frenzy as it takes on new life as a turbulent EDM track. The crowd growls and screams in approval of the DJ’s remix, yet another banger in a night filled with back-to-back hits. Hands in the air, sweat dripping from glistening bodies, smoke floating around the dancefloor and young people gyrating with reckless abandon, Element House provides the people with the release they deserve and they reward it with an undying loyalty to its rhythm and raves as they keep coming back.
Party culture has taken on new dimensions in Nigeria over the last two decades as a reaction to economic, social and cultural progressions. This evolution of the way we party is significant considering that Nigeria is a society that lays heavy emphasis on certain accepted standards of moral behavior, rooted in culture and tradition. But that has never once stopped a good time from happening. Millennials and older gen-z will remember the street parties and carnivals of old, usually held at the end of summer holidays or in December, where music by TuFace, Mo’Hits, Akon, Shakira, Lady Gaga and 50 Cent were the staple, among others. There were certain songs automatically expected from any DJ worth his salt otherwise it was not too far-fetched to see a DJ, with his equipment on his head, fleeing for his safety while being chased by an irate mob of partygoers.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. These carnivals and street parties might have been phased out but the idea remains the same while the power and influence of communities powering party culture in Lagos and Nigeria at large has only gotten stronger, especially with the advent of social media. The Block Party series–started in Lagos, Nigeria as the Mainland Block Party–has become the go-to event to celebrate youth culture and foster connections that cut across multiple African cities and walks of life. Today, with curated events in Ibadan, Abuja, Lagos, Accra and others, a community of partygoers is assured maximum enjoyment whenever the Block Party organisers announce an event in their city of the month. The people will always return to where their tastes are catered to, bringing along friends, family and newbies eager to bask in the atmosphere of loud music and togetherness.
In 2012, Warner Bros. Pictures released Project X–a film that follows three friends and high-school students who attempt to gain popularity by throwing a party which ends up escalating out of their control and reaching epic proportions. This idea propagated by Hollywood would go on to influence several house parties thrown in Lagos during the mid to late 2010s. The idea that with the right DJ/music playing at the right venue and with just the right crowd, then immortality was possible–a party so grand that it would be spoken about in glowing terms for years to come until it became lore. Today, house parties are more intimate and controlled, the degrees of separation between attendees reduced by a mutual friend or WhatsApp group they all have in common. From game nights to karaoke sessions to kinky sex parties, whether it’s at Balloons & Cups, a Vogue Boys pool party, or a get-together by the ‘Lagos on a Budget’ IG Community, the role house parties play in the ever evolving party culture is not insignificant, creating a pipeline that feeds into the much larger raves which weekends in Lagos are becoming synonymous with.
Whether it’s Element House today, Mainland House tomorrow, Group Therapy next weekend, WIRED or a host of other house and EDM inspired movements, partygoers are spoiled for choice when it comes to where to indulge their fundamental music tastes in a secure and controlled environment. Nothing is off the menu and a good time is the only badge of honor worth collecting. The increasing popularity of the rave movement in recent years is testament to the fact that it works for both organizers and attendees. The Covid-19 lockdowns changed the way Nigerians party; after months of being isolated from their communities and having to socialize in more intimate and private spaces, it’s no surprise that raves, with their underground nature, became the outlet of choice for several young people as soon as the world opened back up. According to Tonia, a medical doctor and frequent raver living in Lagos, her first few times at parties following the end of the lockdowns were not fun. “I was partying with caution, wearing face masks constantly and carrying hand sanitizer around. It became a much better experience subsequently when everything relaxed and soon enough, I was back enjoying the time of my life at Lagos parties.”
Unburdened from the heavy spending, bottle-popping culture that characterizes Lagos nightlife and cloaked in the embrace of judgment-free anonymity and numbers, raves have become a safe haven for a community of partygoers determined to turn up in the midst of the sheer craziness of living in this day and age. For Michael-Peace, a brand & creative assistant and frequent raver, the appeal goes beyond a need to unwind and the feelings of peace he experiences at raves. “Whether I’m listening to the DJ or just watching the crowd move to the music, it’s a very mindful experience for me,” he says.“I’m grateful to just be there and appreciative of how we can all be one community or family for that period of time.”
The appeal of the rave scene is its inclusivity and it’s a common theme for the new wave of parties exploding in Lagos and environs. No matter who you are or what you stand for, these parties provide a safe space to let loose without fear of objectification or discrimination resulting from socio-economic and political differences, misogyny and other less elegant occurrences which are part of mainstream Nigerian nightlife. This is important to Tonia who, on multiple occasions, has been prevented by bouncers from entering clubs without a male companion. “I’ll always prefer raves, they are much freer and nobody is performing here. There’s no need to show off the number of bottles you bought like there is in a club. Everyone just wants to turn the fuck up and have the time of their lives.”
For five or six hours, the disco lights, turbulent music and fellow ravers provide solace from the outside world. “Dancing the night away” is not merely a suggestion but a divine mandate from the gods of the rave. It is almost impossible to emerge after such an experience and not want to do it again. The music beckons all and sundry to come out, purge yourself of all inhibitions on the dancefloor, then return home and spread the gospel of the electronic music scene to all who might listen. In Michael-Peace’s own words: “There are people I’ve put onto raves and who loved the experience and constantly thank me for introducing them to it. Once you get hooked on it, you’ll never want to let go.”
Party culture in Nigeria continues to evolve as the new wave of parties mark their time and place in history. But the street parties and carnivals of yesteryears are not to be forgotten. The power of community continues to connect the old wave with the new wave, ensuring that actual people remain the focal point of these events, and party goers can enjoy nightlife experiences uniquely tailored to their ever changing wants and needs.